Designed For Change

Good day mates!

If you’ve been following this blog (which I hope you are, and if you aren’t, you better start doing now haha), you know that there has never been one constant design to it; its appearance always changes. By always I mean, every two to six months. I see that as both a good thing and a bad thing: bad because a perpetually changing image robs readers and other visitors ease in recall (aesthetic-wise); I think it’s also good because it signifies dynamism, which is a mark of a live and ever-learning human being such as me. Sometimes I don’t like change, but when it comes to making this blog look nice visually, I advocate change.

and these are just three of the designs. God knows how many times I changed the theme in the past 3 years!

For the past couple of months, I’ve been thinking of changing my blog not just visually, but really revamping it from the inside out. Every time I think about my blog (which I consider my baby, my brainchild), there’s this feeling in my heart that cries out, “Change!” I don’t know exactly what type of change I should make and to what extent, so for the next couple of days, I’ll be praying, brainstorming, researching, reflecting, meditating, and practicing in order to set the sail for my beloved blog. I’m not sure where God wants to take me as far as blogging is concerned, but all I know is that I want to glorify Him and create change in my own little and unique way. I want my blog to my medium to leave a mark in this world and to contribute to society, more than just telling my fellow homo sapiens what I cooked for dinner or learned about life (although they’re important). Life has more meaning when it is not lived for self, but for the One who gave life.

For this reason, I shall be taking a break from blogging–for now. I am excited and nervous at the same time to make a 180-degree change (God-willing) because it entails responsibility & risk. However, if I’m not going to leave my comfort zone now, then when will I ever begin to live and not simply exist? When I’m 80? Better start at 18.

I’ll end this post with a feature on one of the things that I recently fell in love with after I edited my header: typography. (the typeface I used was “Tetra.”  You can download it for free! Check the link below) I think that if you’re a lover of words, you’ll easily fall in love with fonts and types since they make the backbone of words (i.e., letters) more beautiful and lovely to read and look at.

Here are some of the fonts and typography websites I like, as well as some sites on design. #feelingdesigner hehe  If you’re into typography, you’re starting to be into it like me, or you just want to add cool new fonts to your font collection (because Calibri, Arial, and Broadway are too boring for your fun life), then download the first 13 fonts below for FREE! Just click the photo to go to the downloading website. (thanks and kudos to the designers of these fonts! I wish I could make my own fonts, too. )

When in need of inspiration and source of creative juices for design,  check out these websites! (If you know of other creative geniuses and websites out there, share them with me!)

AWWARDS: Best Websites Around the World 

Designer Daily

Friday Fonts

I Love Typography

Information is Beautiful

Mark Simonson Studio

Ministry of Type

My Fonts

Slanted

Startups, This is How Design Works

You Don’t Have To Be Interesting

At least not always. Interest can be subjective (what’s interesting for one may not be interesting for another) and is often temporary (what’s interesting now may not be interesting next year, or even tomorrow).

You do, however, have to be passionate.

The Insecurity Unmasked

I’ve written a few times about my struggle with insecurity (like my post on disliking my “program” like Ralph of Wreck-It-Ralph and my struggle to accept my dystonia). Well, I’m writing about it again. Insecurity gets the best of me when I let my guard down–when I think too much about how people will think of me (and make them as a source of my joy) or wish I have the things and experiences others have. When I read blogs of famous people or slowly-becoming famous people, I see the cool people they meet, events they attend to, clothes they wear (especially them fashion bloggers, a.k.a. Imelda Marcos’ disciples) and creative juices they have. Then I look at my life: the people I meet (almost the same everyday), the events I attend to (right now I shift from school to house to church), clothes I wear (I’ve run out of mix and match combinations with my available choices), and my “creative juices” (last month I thought about having my room painted white and my desk yellow. How’s that for “creative?”). I see monotonous repetition and ordinariness. Whenever a blank blog post is in front of me, I ask myself: “What interesting things can I write about today?” If I’ll be completely honest with myself (and I will), what that question really asks is this: “How can I be like other bloggers and post interesting stuff about my life to get more people to visit my blog, like my posts, and give me attention?” Narcissism at its finest. That’s why I could not blog the past few weeks. If I ask myself the first question, I couldn’t write anything because nothing “interesting” happened to me (well except for the fact that we moved to a new townhouse after 18 years of living in a small apartment unit).

The Turning Point

If God called you to do something for Him and you don’t do it, He’ll bug you until you make a choice about it. The past few weeks, God kept bugging me to blog. He knew (and I knew in my heart, too) that I could use my gift and love of writing to encourage others, inspire other people with His awesomeness, and just give Him the glory He deserves. Truth is, I always had the intention to write about meaningful things. God has been speaking to me the past few weeks in ways He hasn’t spoken to me ever in my life. He reminded me that He loves me with or without my performance, and that I should exert all my energy on knowing Him, loving Him, and loving others. He opened my eyes into seeing the needs of others and prioritizing them above my own (although I still falter at this point…a lot). He always, always whispers in my ear: “I’m your Father. I love you very much. Stay close to Me. I will never let you go.” Who wouldn’t fall in love with a God like that? Unfortunately for me, I focused my eyes on what I thought mattered: the things, activities, celebrities, clothes, and philosophies of this world. I needed to repent, and repent I did.

By asking myself “what interesting things can I write about today,” I am limiting myself to subjects that only a few can relate to. What if the things I find interesting don’t interest you (which is most likely the case)? God called me to write beyond interesting; He called me to write about my passions: Him, His Word, communication, intentional living, relationships, among others. I have a calling and a desire to experience an extraordinary God in my ordinary day-to-day activities and write about them. Earlier today, I accompanied my brother Josh to the hospital for a consultation and lab procedures because of his hoarse and recurring cough. I don’t really like going to hospitals even if they look and smell good because I don’t like seeing sick people. However, if you love someone, you’ll put their good above your own. My brother needed me, so I went.

After “stethoscoping” my brother, our pediatrician told us to have Joshua’s chest x-rayed and a CBC to check if he had either pneumonia or dengue. When she wrote down those two diagnoses, I felt nervous. For a while I somehow felt what it was like to be a mom. After having our laboratory papers verified, we headed to the radiology department. The procedure went quickly and easily. The CBC was the hard part…at least for me. If there’s one thing I hate next to a cockroach, it is a needle penetrating my skin–or anyone else’s skin. God had me watch my brother get his blood extracted, and I’m glad He did. Not only did it make me strong, but it made me feel closer to my brother because I was there with him. I hope he feels the same way too. (Chos ang drama)

Whenever you include God in the scenes of your life, the ordinary becomes extraordinary. The impossible becomes possible. That’s way more exciting to read about and learn from than “interesting things” like fashion updates, parties, concerts, and events. Now I’m not saying that those things are unimportant and not worth blogging about, nor am I criticizing bloggers in these fields. As a matter of fact, I patronize them! Most of them are really passionate about what they do. What I’m saying is that, even if you’re not involved in high-profile activities or wear the lastest fashion, you can tell a story that moves and inspires people simply because you are uniquely you and, if Jesus is in you, you are capable of doing the impossible. “Great and mighty things which you don’t know,” God says in Jeremiah 33:3, are within your reach.

The Challenge

I praise God for lifting me out of my insecurity. I had to make that choice, but He awakened me and gave me the strength to make that choice. He can help you do the same, too. Perhaps you are living in the shadow of the Interesting Things. You honestly think that your story, your idea, your song, your recipe, your choreography, your novel, your message, or whatever it is God called you to make, is not worth reading, knowing, listening, and enjoying because it’s not “interesting” enough. It won’t have too many downloads or hits on YouTube. The truth is, not everyone gets to have a chance on fame. Fame is not the goal. I learned my lesson the hard way. You see, I love attention. I received too much attention one weekend, that when the attention was gone the following week, I felt insecure. If we focus on our eyes on fame, we focus our eyes on people, and when we do, we are seeking to be disappointed because people disappoint us. However, if we focus our eyes on Jesus and work within His will–in the realm of the impossible–we find ourselves whole, fulfilled, and joyful. I also experience this. I am at my happiest state when I am right with Jesus, even if doing His will is uncomfortable at times.

Lately I’ve been reading a book entitled The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs: How To Be Insanely Great in Front of Any Audience by Carmine Gallo. Gallo praises the late Apple founder’s enthusiasm, energy, and passion for all things Apple not simply because they are his invention, but because his products make people’s lives better. Steve Jobs found fulfillment in making the world a better place. Today, we appreciate him for that. The very device I use to type this blog and publish it for the world to see is a 15-inch Macbook Pro. His passion for seeing other people’s lives dramatically improve with great products reaped great consequences not only for him, but for millions of people all over the world who work for or are adherents of the Mac, iTunes, iPhone, iPod, iPad, and the rest of Job’s brainchildren.

Here’s the challenge I have taken on myself which I now pass on to you: What’s your passion? If you have discovered it, fan its flames! If you have yet to find out what it is, don’t give up! Keep searching. Ask. Experiment. Collaborate. Fail. Get back up! If you think your story is too ordinary to be useful for inspiration, encouragement, and even life transformation, ask God to use it for His glory. Sometimes we take for granted the little things God tells us to do when in fact they are the very experiences that can significantly impact a life more than ten entries on events and giveaways. Perhaps you were finally able to forgive that friend of yours after years of bitterness and anger. Tell your story! Help others overcome unforgiveness! If one day, when you were bored, you decided to make a scrapbook of your life and realized that you had so many wonderful memories and learned a lot on life & love, tell us! Make the world a better place by helping people make sense and find beauty in the mundane things of life. For me, that is where extraordinariness really lies.

The next time I find myself asking, “What interesting things can I write about today,” I will step back, look up, and ask myself, “How can I make a difference in my world today? What am I passionate about?” Then I’ll go out there and work in the realm of the impossible with the power God has given me.

Now that’s interesting! May you do the same.

Unforgettable

Studying in universities for the past three years has taught me to think critically and creatively, manage my time well (albeit I’m still struggling with this), communicate clearly and effectively, and argue reasonably, among others. By God’s grace,I am more intelligent and skilled today than I was three years ago, but I’m still far from perfect. However, in spite of major improvements, there’s one skill I haven’t quite masted yet: remembering to bring everything you need to bring and actually bringing them.

I get frustrated at myself when I forget to bring something I badly need because I’m the type of person who prepares her things the night before school or an event. Clearly there’s something wrong with me, and while I don’t deny that the fault is mine to bear, sometimes I can’t help t blame my forgetfulness on my finiteness. Tao lang; nagkakamali ako. I get even more frustrated when I realize that I have more cases of forgetfulness in college than when I was in high school.

Strike one: first year, first semester in college: After sweating buckets in P.E. class, I took a shower in the gym bathroom. Ordinarily you use a towel to dry yourself after showering. In extraordinary cases when you forget to bring your towel (like I did), you have to resort to extraordinary measures. As for me, I “fanned” myself dry (as in fan my body with a paper fan till it’s dry and wipe it with tissue).

Strike two: again, I was a freshman, also in my first semester, after my P.E. class. When I took a shower this time, I had my towel with me. Forgetfulness 0, Jenny 1. Ordinarily, after you dry yourself, you dress up in new, clean clothes. However, when you fail to bring a clean shirt with you, again, you must have presence of mind and think of extraordinary measures to solve your dilemma. Now here’s where God (and theoretically, my Mom) entered the picture. During that school year, I had a personal locker. Weeks before the incident happened, my Mom told me to leave a shirt inside my locker for emergency or just-in-case cases. Obviously this was one of those cases. Hallelujah, I wasn’t going to walk around school wearing a used, sweaty shirt!! But….there’s a big but. The downside of the whole scenario, albeit having the problem resolved, is that the gym bathroom where I was is located on the west end of the school grounds, and my locker on the east. Only one thing had to be done, and that I did: I dressed up in new clothes except the shirt, ran straight to my locker, grabbed my clean shirt, and changed. Forgetfulness 1000, Jenny -100.

If I were to write the times I forgot to bring something or do something, or an important event, I would need a new blog or an entire book as thick as a Harry Potter book to finish. There is one more instance I must share because it’s recent and still fresh to my memory, and it is the very reason I prompted myself to post this entry. I’m already a sophomore, in my second semester, and until now I still haven’t learned my lesson on BRINGING YOUR STUFF DURING P.E. DAYS. (what’s with me and P.E. classes?!) Strike three: last Friday, I had P.E. class. I hurried to the restroom to dress down to my workout outfit. Ordinarily you need a SHIRT not just to dress yourself with after taking a shower, but also before taking a shower. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t able to reserve a locker to put an extra shirt in so that solution was out of the question. If there is one thing I have learned in these situations, it is this: you have to find a way to fix your mess. You can’t just say, “Oh well. That’s life. Who cares about P.E. anyway?” My Mom’s adage rebutted this faulty argument head-on: “Gawan mo ng paraan“.

MY MOM!!

It took me a while to come up with a solution and remember my Mom, but at least I did. Just this year, my Mom was hired by a new company whose office was located in Tektite [tech-tight] building, a 3-minute walk away from my school. Their company would have shirts in their stockroom because they have so many merchandises available. I called up my Mom and told her my dilemma. She was on her way to Eastwood Mall at that time, but she promised to work something out. I trusted my Mom’s word, but I also knew she was busy, so I began to nurse thoughts of giving up and just cutting my P.E. class. God had other plans. Mom called me up 2 minutes after our conversation (see how impatient I was!) and told me to pick up the shirt from her office and look for her officemate, Ms. Sab. Answered prayer! I set my legs on brisk walk mode with occasional runs since I carried two heavy bags on my shoulders (not the best running accessories, but if you don’t have a locker or a car, you have no choice). In twelve minutes I ran to Tektite, took the shirt, and ran back to school. By the time I got to school, obviously I was late for class (in fact I was already considered absent because I arrived past the 15-minute grace period), but as my Lolo always says, “Better late than never!”

While changing into my workout outfit, I aired my thanks to God out loud. God, in His goodness, answered back in the form of a reminder. The Holy Spirit put into my remembrance these verses:

“Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. Behold, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; Your walls are continually before Me.”
- Isaiah 49:15-16 (NASB)

“Who do you think you are? You think you’re so smart. I am holy; I’m not like you or any other person. I don’t forget. Even if you excel in forgetting and many times, fail in obeying, I love you. I will never forget you. Ever.”

I was very humbled, to say the least. Who was I–who am I–that the God heaven and earth, the King of kings and the LORD of lords, the infinite God, would take the time and ache of working in someone like me? Why would the most important person and being that ever existed and ever will exist care for a person like me, who is virtually unimportant (if not for His saving and sanctifying grace)?

I am forever indebted and grateful to God for His kindness towards me, His grace when my flaws show, and His divine hand of providence that provides on time. Who knows? Maybe one of the reasons why my Mom transferred to her new company is so that, through this experience, I could exercise my presence of mindedness, rely on God’s provision, and be grateful for my Mom. Guys and gals, when your Moms tell you to do something as simple as putting an extra shirt in your locker, HEED IT! Ephesians 6:1-3 rings true in my life: if I obey my parents, life would be well with me.

I know I can’t blame my forgetfulness on my finiteness forever, but one thing I hold on to and glory in: my God won’t forget me, and as long asI yield to His leadership, He will make a way out and lead me to safety. In a world full of pain, disease, heart breaks, crises, and meltdowns, sometimes we just want to relinquish our responsibility (that is, of turning to or away from Jesus) and blame everything on God and people. We are all at fault, whether we like it or not. That’s why I find God so, so good, because even if it’s our fault that we sin and make mistakes, He still finds a way to cut through our hearts and whisper gently in our ears saying, “Come to Me. I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) He remembers that we are dust and prone to evil, disease, ignorance, and forgetfulness. He finds ways to make us know Him, because only in Him can we find meaning and peace of mind (Psalm 103:14-18; Philippians 4:6-7).

“Unforgettable–that’s what you are….”
Romantic when Nat King Cole sung it in 1951,
But even more romantic when the Lover of my soul wrote it since time immemorial, and sang it to me the other day.

Grace Gracing Grace

Excited, a little apprehensive, but nevertheless, eager to climb mountains, defeat my giants, and embark on new adventures–This is what I looked and felt like when we homo sapiens welcomed 2013 with open arms. My mindset was real, lasting, progressive change; my motto: The old has come, the new has begun. If only it were possible to have my chest lighted and sparked with fireworks like Katy Perry’s, I would have “outlit” her and shoot fireworks for 2 minutes straight. Yep, I was that confident of 2013. This was going to be my year. 

Resolutions were made, prayers lifted, action plans executed (or should I say, with the tons of “resolutions” I made last year, re-executed). The second week of January, CCF (the church I belong to) held a church-wide prayer and fasting week. I got to know Him more intimately, prayed longer and more earnestly, and became more joyful. So far, it’s the best week of my life this year. 

Then came the second week. And the third week. And the fourth week. And another.

The things I thought were laid to rest during the fasting week slowly crept out of their hiding places and lured me into their wiles. First came indiscipline. The meals I did not consume during the fasting week, I made up for in the weeks that followed. Rationalizations came into being once again: “It’s not that bad. Come on! It’s just food. Go get ‘em!” And go I did.

Next came physical insecurity. The fact that my skin was breaking out (probably due to consuming too much sweets & lack of adequate sleep) did not help my self-esteem get back to where it was supposed to be. During the days when I had to leave the house at 6:30 in the morning to arrive on time for my 7:30 AM class, I forewent my quiet time and prayer to cover my deep eye circles and pimple marks with concealer and powder. Vain, much? My mind agreed, but my ever-deceitful heart rationalized the deed. “There isn’t much time to pray anyway. You’ll just be rushing your prayer. Besides, you can do that in school. Now where is that concealer?” Foolish and rebellious me won over. The Holy Spirit took a back seat. 

The third one spoke more condemningly than the first two because it contained the deepest, most despicable lies: false judgment.  ”Christians are supposed to act righteously and perfectly, right? Then why do you still act the way you do? Why do you judge people based on how they look? And your cousin, well, she’s dead now. Do you think she can hear you if you say you’re sorry? God’s not happy. You better get your act straight, or else, God will discipline you. Wait and see. You’ll get a tough spanking young lady.” 

Truth be told, these three voices and vices do contain some truth in them: God has given me a spirit of discipline (2 Timothy 1:7), therefore, I should be disciplined; my insecurity is a subtle form of pride, which is rebellion against the Most High; if I sin, God is sad and mad because He hates anything that gets between Him & His children. One of the strategies of the Enemy to lure the faithful into his traps is to amalgamate truth with lies so as to create a believable argument, which is still false and therefore, a lie. Unless your conscience is callous beyond recognition or your mind is too shut to the truth, you’d detect the truth in the lie and discern that the whole voice is a lie, especially if you study the Bible and have the Holy Spirit in you. Hence, the issue I faced was not whether I knew the Bible, rather, how deeply I feared God. 

The first two vices (undiscipline & insecurity) I understood very well because they were obviously sins and were my fault. Whenever I found myself indulging my appetite in an unholy way or becoming proud and focusing on myself, I almost always immediately asked God for forgiveness and His grace to carry me forward. The third one, however, I struggled with the most because, although it was a result of my shortcomings, I had no complete control over them. They were the enemies’ words, not mine, and certainly not God’s. Again, they contained some truth, and important ones at that: God hates sin, and He gets angry when people sin. He disciplines those whom He call His children. However, when the enemy speaks, his objective is to destroy my relationship with God. Thus, when I “heard,” and unfortunately believed, his lies, my excitement for God waned. Although I prayed to Him everyday, I looked forward more to other things, not Him.

Where was God in the whole scenario during those weeks? Where was He when I really felt down because I hated how I looked and felt so bad about my secret sins? Was He really devising a painful disciplinary act to get me do His will? Does He condemn me, too, like the enemy? 

I can’t believe I just wrote those questions. I mean, for a person who professes to be a Christian for 6 years already, I suppose I should already know these things by now. As you get to know Jesus, the things you knew 6 years ago would be elementary 7, 10, 30, even 50 years later. Right? 

Wrong.

Intimacy is not based (or measured) by what you know intellectually, but by what you know experientially. Intimacy is present tense because it is determined according to God’s presence in your life. Did you see the word play between those words? Present Tense–>PRESent tENSE–>PRESENSE–>PRESENCE.  

That’s why God is always in the present. Sure, He sees your past and future in one go, but because you and I are time-bound and we can only dwell in the here and now, He stays with us in the here and now. He is I AM–not I WAS or I WILL–I AM. 

Will God discipline me? You bet He will! I’ll be scared if He doesn’t. Last week, I spent time with God every day, and every time I knelt before Him, I always confessed my sins and made sure I was right with Him. However, I can’t help but feel that He’s giving me this “I’m watching you” look as if to say that He’s observing if I will fall again and sin and if I would, He would go, “tsk, tsk, tsk. What am I to do with you?!” And so the question that I didn’t realize existed in my subconcious was:  Does God look at me through angry eyes?

Last Saturday, I attended Jzone, our church’s youth service. I felt “okay” (no guilty feelings; but really, I’m okay with God) during the first part of the praise and worship and the message. After Kuya Yuklid, the speaker, preached the message, the worship team led us into singing again. The second song they played was “How He Loves Us” by David Crowder Band. The lyrics were so familiar to me. In fact I memorized them. Determined to worship God with all my heart, I sang the song:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

 

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

 

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way…

 

That He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.

As I sang the chorus and segued to the third verse, I stopped singing and started crying. I wanted to sing, but my tears wouldn’t let me. I knew in my heart of hearts that this was the supernatural work of the Holy Spirit because, as I sang the song, I heard a voice spoke inside of me:

“I do not condemn you. Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. I love you. I forgive you. My grace is for you. I do not condemn you.”

Through the song, Jesus released me from my fear. The song used to be just a Christian song to me, but since that Saturday, it became a song of release, of freedom. To know and hear from God, the Creator of the universe, the Redeemer and Savior of mankind, the Shepherd of my soul, that He loves me, forgives me, and does not condemn me is liberating. I can’t explain it. The peace that flowed inside my heart after singing that song lifted the wrong thoughts and heavy burden from my heart.  

That wasn’t the first time God did that to me, but for me, the experience proves that He really does love me and care for me. In spite of my mistakes, flaws, and insecurities, God has never failed to catch me, place my feet on solid ground, and gently whisper to my ear: 

“I forgive you. I do not condemn you. Follow me.”

Therefore, as a response to His amazing grace, unending love, and majestic holiness (i.e., his being unique from all other gods and persons), I choose to let God grace me, to make me secure and beautiful and to love me so that I, too, may become just like Him–full of grace, truth, and joy.  

Dear reader, although this experience is personal to me, it is not exclusive to me. You, too, can experience it. God does not play favorites (Romans 2:10). The only requirement for grace is FAITH. I realized that that was the thing I lacked in my life. Also, if you’re a Christian for quite some time now, it doesn’t always follow that you won’t stumble on Christian foundational principles, such as faith and a right view on God. God is patient; He remembers that you are dust (Psalm 103:14). But He if you’re His child, He is also at work in your life. When He tells you to do something, act on it immediately! Don’t despair! (Galatians 6:9) 

As I usher another month this 2013, I am even more excited than when I first started; the fireworks of my soul spark and shoot out from the inside with greater intensity and brightness than the first. This 2013, I shall climb mountains, defeat giants, and embark on new adventures not because of me, but because of the One who keeps me secure, beautiful, and loved. Grace Himself will grace Jennifer Grace. 

It is my prayer that through this blog, God’s grace will be shown, proven, and shared by more and more people. God’s grace is a reality too deep to comprehend; a lifetime is not enough to fully understand it. I pray that this year, as you read the blog, or even as you go on your daily life, that God will grace your life, and that you, too, will sink in His ocean of grace. Oh, how He loves you!  

There’s No One I’d Rather Be Than Me

WARNING: This post contains statements which may not be suitable for innocent Wreck-It-Ralph audiences. Parental, spousal, whatever type of guidance is advised.

 

Have you ever wished you were designed differently as a person? Maybe if you had a different temperament or a different occupation at this stage of your life right now, you would be a happier and more fulfilled person?

Ralph of Wreck-It-Ralph did.

Ralph: good guy disguised as a bad guy

Disney’s latest animation delves into the occupation of Ralph as a wrecker in the arcade game, Fix It Felix Jr. and the loneliness that goes with it. With his abnormally gigantic fists, Ralph boxes bricks and windows of a condominium and throws bricks at Felix Jr. who is programmed to, surprise, surprise, fix Ralph’s wreckage with his magic hammer. Ralph’s job wouldn’t be so bad (and lonely) if it were not for the fact that after a game, when Felix receives his hard-earned medal, the citizens of the condo lift Ralph and throw him down the dump. That happens at every single game no matter what level the player (human, of course) reaches. Thus if 8 players play the game on average and each player reaches at least 3 levels (assuming all levels are successfully won), Felix gets 24 medals a day, and Ralph wrecks and gets thrown in the dump 24 times as well.

courtesy of Google Images

To make it even more lonely, when the arcade closes and the games are over, Ralph heads over to the brick dump, or garbage, and lives alone, while the condo’s citizens live with the very much praised and admired Felix Jr., who gets his daily servings of compliments and warm pies.

Provoked by his loneliness and the spiteful attitude of the condo citizens against him, Ralph vowed to win himself a medal just like Felix Jr. even if it meant breaking game protocol. In the games, it is impossible for the bad guys to win medals since they were reserved for good guys. Ralph had had enough of being a bad guy. He wanted to be good and win a medal. He wanted to be praised by the members of his game and served pies. He yearned to belong.

As I watched Ralph’s (literally) animated life unfold before my eyes last Sunday afternoon, I realized I shared his sentiments. It’s not the loneliness or the spiteful attitude of the people around me, because, by God’s grace, people treat me kindly.

It’s the fact that, once upon a time, I did not like the way I was “programmed.”

To answer the question I posed at the beginning of this post: Have you ever wished you were designed differently as a person?,

my answer would be a resounding “yes.”

After reading Beverly LaHaye’s book, The Spirit-Controlled Woman, I found out that God blessed me with the melancholic-sanguine temperament. Among my favorites of the descriptions of a MelSan person are: “one of the most gifted of all the temperament blends;” “usually does well in academia;” “she can sway an audience with her charm.” (In other words, a drama queen. Haha!) Although my temperament is blended with sanguine, which is extrovert, I am mainly a melancholic so I am still considered an introvert. Gifted as I may be, I easily get depressed because melancholics are wired to be so deeply emotional. We take our emotions and thoughts seriously. We think about our actions even after we’ve done them and worry if they’re not right or appropriate. Sanguines are our exact opposites. If a sanguine student recites the wrong answer in class, he won’t care (or at least dwell on) the embarrassment it caused. A melancholic, on the other hand, would slap himself (at least mentally) for answering so stupidly and would vow to never, ever do that again, or at least think twice before answering.

I used to hate the fact that I’m not as friendly as my sanguine family members and friends, such as my mom. She magnetizes people instantly–from the vendor at the wet market to the vice president of a company. At a party of her close friends or her own, she adds life, laughter, and camaraderie. When we hang out together, there are no dull moments–except maybe for the silence that ensues once our threader begins to thread our eyebrows; she sleeps, while I wince occasionally in pain.

My Mom is also one of the few people who never, ever gets insecure about their looks. She usually gets teased as fat, obese, and plump, but not once did I see my mom sulk, cry, or even frown. She responds with a smile and a witty remark while holding her portly tummy: “Dapat lang! Malaki investment ko diyan.” When I get called fat, I wish I could  also smile and reply wittily. In reality, I get sad. I get frustrated because I overate again the other day and went through a week without working out. Sometimes I don’t get sad at all because I know it’s not true, but sad or not, being called fat is a big deal to me. Well, was a big deal. (ngayon small deal nalang )

There came a stage in my life–a difficult and tearful stage, I must admit–when I disliked the temperament God gave me. I reasoned that it was the wheel behind my “inability” to allow myself to easily create deep bonds with people so that I’ll be part of their circles and not be left alone during lunchtime. Don’t get me wrong, people don’t intentionally avoid me or reject me; it’s just that, I’m the type of person who doesn’t push herself to be part of a group that doesn’t invite me in. In other words, I often lack initiative. I attributed that lack to my introverted temperament which in turn made me hate myself and my “program.” Just like Ralph wanted so badly to be “good,” I wanted to be an extrovert, more of a people person than an observant bystander.

As I sought the Lord and His will for me, He changed my heart of stone into a heart of flesh so that I may gratefully accept the program He made and gave for me.  According to LaHaye, falling into a black emotional hole is a negative tendency for melancholics, and the best way to avoid that tendency and turn it into a blessing is by practicing gratitude. Moment. By. Moment. “In everything give thanks,” God said in Philippians 4:13, “for it is the will of God through Christ Jesus concerning you.”  As I sought the Lord, He showed me one of the reasons why He prompted me to put up this site, The Lifeline: that I may list all the blessings that God sends my way and thank Him for them. This blog reminds me of Who my God is, what He has done, and what He continues to do in and through me–and overall, that leads me to discovering pure and lasting joy.  :)

Wreck-It-Ralph made it to my top favorite movies of all time because it reminded me so much of my journey to accepting the way God programmed me. The way we are programmed–our ancestry, parents, genes, background, temperament, etc–cannot be changed. We can only accept it or reject it. Moreover, acceptance can either be grateful or spiteful. Just like Ralph, I choose grateful acceptance of my program. When Ralph failed to gratefully accept his program as “the bad guy,” one disaster upon another followed his tail, almost costing him his life (i.e., game over). The  times when I pretended to be someone I’m not were my most miserable and lonely experiences. Erasing gratitude out of the picture means erasing joy as well.

By my Father’s amazing grace, I have come to terms with my temperament and my body. At times I still struggle with conflicting emotions and insecurities, but my God gets me through them at the end of the day through prayer. How about you? Have you gratefully accepted the unchangeable program you’ve been endowed with? Have you come to terms with your negative tendencies and sought practical ways to turn them into blessings? The only way you can be happy the way you are is by realizing that the One who created you fashioned you so uniquely to serve a unique purpose. We stand equally before our Maker as persons and beings, but we stand differently as our selves. He loves you as much as He loves me, but He loves you differently. My needs are not met the same way yours are. I’m still baffled at those facts, but I am just grateful that I don’t have to worry about that because my God’s got me all covered!

I pray that if you haven’t gratefully accepted your program that one day, you will, just as Ralph and I did. Ralph affirmed his acceptance by wholeheartedly declaring what is called as “The Bad Guy Affirmation:”

“I am bad and that’s good. I will never be good and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.”

I am Jenny, an imperfect MelSan, and that’s good. I may never be as extroverted as I wanted to be and that’s not bad. There’s no one I’d rather be than me.

And there’s no one you should rather be but Y-O-U.

Mac’s lipsticks are fabulous

sans make-up after Insanity. O___O

Pan-fried Dory with Lemon Butter Sauce

Can you feel the Christmas spirit?! Because I can!

Hola chicos y chicas! There are only 53 days left till we celebrate the 2000++ human birthday of Jesus Christ. I wonder if He throws a Christmas party in Heaven on the 25th of December in our time and exchange gifts with the Heavenly Father, Holy Spirit, the angels, and Christians residing there. Hmmm. Guess I’ll find out when I get there!

Anyway, I just want to post this dish which I made Saturday last week. If you’re the type of person who can’t cook to save your life but you have to or you want to give cooking a try, this is the dish to make! It’s easy, delicious, satisfying, and appealing to all palate types.

I’ll divide the cooking process into 3 simple steps: Seasoning, Frying, and Saucing (i.e., making the sauce)

Ingredients

Dory fillet

Maggi Magic Sarap

dried basil leaves

salt

white pepper

parsley flakes

Seasoning

1. Before seasoning your dory, make sure they’re DRY. Pat them with paper towels if they’re wet.
2. I followed this recipe from Bubbly Blabber & used the ingredients mentioned, which are: Maggi Magic Sarap (it’s a seasoning pouch available in sari-sari stores and local Filipino markets and grocery stores), salt, white pepper powder, and dried basil leaves (McCormick). In seasoning your dory fillet, I did not have any specific measurements. Just place the salt, Maggi, white pepper, and basil on one palm and use it to coat the dory. In Tagalog, we call it tantsa. Tantsa-tantsa lang yan, hindi naman ‘to baking.
3. Once you’ve seasoned your fish, put flour (again, on tantsa mode) on a separate plate. Even the flour on the plate. Then roll your dory in the flour, covering all sides. Brush off excess flour. “Pagpagin” mo yung dory.

Frying

On a frying pan, place a large chunk of butter or margarine and let it melt. Once the butter’s melted, fry your fish! Turn it every 1-2 minutes to avoid burning, since it cooks pretty easily. I like mine a little bit brown and toasted on the outside, so I let the fish cook for 5-6 minutes. 

Saucing

The first time I made the sauce, it was a disaster. I put way too much lemon zest! On the same pan you used to fry the fish, melt another large chunk of butter, larger than the first chunk. Once it’s melted, add 1 tsp lemon zest, or to taste. But definitely not more than 1 lemon, not even 1/4 of it! Believe me, I tried. Stir the sauce and pour it on the dory. 

So there you have it! It’s pretty easy, right? Spoon warm rice onto your plate and serve the dory as an ulam (viand).

Enjoy!

Nutty Oatmeal Recipe for an Oatsome Breakfast

Who wants oatmeal for breakfast?!

I love having oatmeal for breakfast, especially if it’s rolled oats. I like how it’s so common, relatively cheap (although rolled oats are a tad more expensive than instant oats), and versatile–you can cook it plainly, with just milk and sugar, or go overboard with the toppings by adding fruits (apples, bananas, cherries), nuts, cinnamon, chocolate, cocoa powder, and even gummy bears!

When I cook oatmeal at home, I usually just mix it with sweetened cocoa powder in the saucepan. Just before I enjoy my oatmeal, I sprinkle with a dash of cinnamon, stir in thin banana slices, and pour a few tablespoons of milk. Last Wednesday I found a very easy and cheap oatmeal recipe at Fully Booked Rockwell, a favorite store of mine. The recipe I found was written by Chef Susan Irby in her book, The Giant A$7 A Meal Cookbook. As I always do when I don’t have the exact ingredients mentioned by the chef or cook, I adapted the recipe. As usual, it turned out palatable! My tummy was pleased.

So here’s my modified Nutty Oatmeal recipe. Hope you guys like it! I also included the original recipe from Chef Susan Irby’s cookbook,  in case you want to try it out. But try mine first. Hahahaha

To make this totally oatsome (pun intended…even if it’s corny, haha) and delicious dish to feed 3 people, you need:

• 1 cup of rolled oats oatmeal
• 2 tablespoons crushed or chopped almonds (the actual measurement is 1/2 cup, but since I only had a handful of almonds with me, I was only able to make 2 tablespoons. You can add more nuts for a nuttier, crunchier oatmeal! You may also substitute walnuts for almonds. See the original recipe below)
• 3 1/4 cups water
• 4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder dissolved in 1/3 cup of hot water (if you don’t want a chocolatey oatmeal, use 1/4 cup of milk instead)
• 1/4 cup brown sugar (I didn’t use up all of the sugar, and it still tasted delicious. You can leave out 4 teaspoons of sugar if you want to go easy on the sweetness)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 ripe lakatan banana, thinly sliced (optional)

Now to really make the totally oatsome and delicious nutty oatmeal, follow these 3 easy steps:

1. Place the oatmeal in a medium skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. Toast the oats, stirring constantly for 5-6 minutes or until the oatmeal is fragrant and begins to brown around the edges. Just make sure they don’t burn! Remove the oatmeal and transfer to a medium saucepan.
2. In the same pan, melt the butter and add the crushed almonds. Toast the almonds over medium heat, stirring constantly until the almonds are a dark brown color and toasted. Switch the positions of the skillet and saucepan in the gas stove so that the oatmeal begins to heat. Add the water, cocoa powder, salt, and cinnamon to oatmeal in saucepan.
3. Bring the oatmeal mixture to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to low and simmer for 3-5 minutes until oatmeal is tender. Add the brown sugar and nuts, stir, then cover oatmeal & let it stand for 3 minutes or 10 seconds if you can’t wait to taste your totally oatsome and delicious nutty oatmeal.  Stir & serve.
4. To upgrade your oatmeal’s oatsomeness, add the banana slices and stir. Eat, savor each bite, and enjoy!!!

NOTE: If you are serving for 5-6 people, just multiply the amount of the ingredients by two except for the water and sugar. If you’re using rolled oats, add another cup or 1/2 cup of water because rolled oats absorb the water faster than instant oats, and if your oatmeal lacks water, it will be too sticky and not as oatsome. Go easy on the sugar, and adjust it according to your taste. But don’t add too much, unless you plan on having diabetes.

Here is the original recipe from Chef Susan Irby’s book, The Giant $7 A Meal Cookbook

serves 5

Ingredients:

• 2 cups regular oatmeal
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 cup chopped walnuts
• 3 cups water
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg

Directions:

1. Place oatmeal in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Toast, stirring constantly, for 5-6 minutes or until oatmeal is fragrant and begins to brown around the edges. Remove to large saucepan.
2. In the same skillet, melt butter and add chopped walnuts. Toast over medium heat, stirring constantly until nuts are toasted. set aside. Add water, milk, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg to oatmeal in saucepan.
3. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to low and simmer 5-6 minutes until oatmeal is tender. Add brown sugar and nuts, stir, then cover oatmeal and let stand for 3 minutes. Stir and serve.

Have a happy breakfast!